It just took over an hour to get my kids to sleep.

If anyone else says/types “just saying” in my presence, I will punch them. I know this is going to set off some sort of craze thinking its witty to say that around me. It isn’t. I will stop liking you.

I have a serious issue today with my computer. It is driving me buck wild.

I may be the most social, socially awkward person. Thus making me the most awkward person I know. I am not coming down from my cabin in the woods ever again.

My house is a disaster.

I can’t spell. Or think of anything interesting to say.

I feel like a really bad mother today. I told my son I would return the new shovel I bought him to the store. Or break it in half if he didn’t go to sleep. Oh boy. Super fail.

Yowser. Time to get that old thought life under control isn’t it?

Thankful today for:

619) Loving him everyday

620) A GREAT church family camping weekend

621) Getting dressed up for work, having a great meeting, feeling like a functional person for the first time in ages…

622) That they choose to hold hands in a crowd

623) Day off family hikes and explorations (in her celebratory Jets jersey)

624) Discoveries

625) Sunset play

626) First sports

627) First sleepover

628) Big girl bed, big girl pants. GULP. Crib is in the basement. TEAR.

629) Cuddle with sweet baby Mae to remind me that there will always be babies to cuddle…even if they are not mine.

630) A radio/cd player in the new vehicle. Oh boy such bliss.

631) Hot, hot, hot! Summer finally here? I know, I know spring would have been nice but I will take whatever I can get!!!

632) Cool evening breezes.

633) Dirty feet, scabs and a 7 foot pile of laundry. Evidence of a childhood memories made.

634) Umbrellas.

635) The look on his face as he set out on his first highway motor bike ride. Bliss.

Much better. Time to tackle the laundry and disastrous house.

The grass grew up long these last seven days and turned itself to green. Dandelions sprouted up and speckle the lawn and other bright yellow flowers dot the hillsides. The herb garden doubled in size and the whole forest seemed to wake from hibernation and is lush and green.

Even with all this change, its nothing like them. The way they say new things like “Good Golly Miss Molly”. The way the two of them looked six feet tall as I stumbled down the concourse eyes all blurry.

Seven days flew by for me. I felt like I was gone a blink and yet somehow I’m Rip Van Winkle and missed a whole season. And I know that I’m dramatic and these little people are better for my absence and I’m better for it too. I say this only to remind myself not to blink and not to take a single breath for granted because these little people are growing faster than any weed I know.

Thankful this Monday for:

606) Going away

607) Coming home

608) Marrying into a really amazing family

609) Fun adventures

610) A week of reckless irresponsibility

611) Snorkels, fins, masks and an ocean full of extravagant beauty

612)  Time alone with this guy

613) Coming home to kids who keep saying “When Gummy and Pappa were here we….” and all of it is joy laced. THANKS.

614) REST

615) Little faces at the arrival gate

616) 4 more days till the conference. YIKES.

617) Back to a real life even sweeter than holidays…Missed my kids too much.

618) Watching my kids dance at a wedding last night. Thinking of the parents who watched their kids get married, knowing better than to take these short and precious days for granted.

Visit others who keep their eyes wide for the gifts here:

Has the sky always been blue like that? It’s too beautiful to have been sitting there all along, millions of us milling around under it with not one shouting praise. The fact that I have ever walked one day without noticing is almost criminal. A sky like that should be remembered, its maker should get some credit.

So much of life is like that you know. Every single day you can choose to notice the extraordinary gifts you are surrounded by. You can also ignore them and walk glumly under piercing sky.

Counting gifts today…

595) Piercing blue after a long cloudy winter

596) Boy telling wild magnificent tales than whispering in my ear “I’m just using my ‘magination”

597) Giddy little girl laughs

598) Great replacement dates for a royals party when I ran out of energy to plan the other one I wanted to have.

599) A date for coffee on the deck when I had thought I was all alone.

600) First dinner on the deck

601) Impromptu picnic

602) Little buddies in the bath

603) Lots of time to get my homework done this weekend (though now my only excuse that I didn’t get it done is my own laziness).

604) Winged wonders

605) This much bliss. This much love.

605) First beach play of the year

606) The little missus is back. She hadn’t been around for a few days and I’m counting on her to give us some ducklings on the pond this spring.

Visit others who keep their eyes wide for the gifts here:

Its holy week. This week I am settling myself, firmly on the ground at the foot of the cross. I find my heart marvelously peaceful and jam-packed with joy. Days like this it is so easy to free my heart to dance in gratitude.

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Thankful this Monday for:

583) Pink gum boots in puddles

584) Whip cream topped hot chocolate for little girl, eyes lit up like fire works

585) Taking my children to their first musical and little boy whispers “I’m going to have dreams about this”

586) Nephew and niece on stage

587) Homework!

588) Yard work

589) Signs of spring (in the face of evidence to the contrary)

(yes that is 3 inches of snow on my deck)

590& 591) Little ones who fall into Sunday afternoon naps, daddies more than happy to accommodate

592) Children getting along SO WELL, after a period of SO NOT.

593) Escape to a conference at church for a few hours. Seeing women I’ve not connected with in ages.

594) This…

Visit others who keep their eyes wide for the gifts here:

Little mimics big and they dance like no one is looking but I can’t stop. These little women, full of grace. This one of mine with each step a dance, each word a song, she makes music in my heart…

They concentrate and they squeeze every bit of bliss from this dance. It goes on and on and on and the joy keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Oh to embrace each moment just like this…to be fully alive, fully engaged, fully present. To partake of each of the blessings as I’m in the midst of them. No straining forward no reaching back, no questioning myself or feeling shame for this much joy.

No…today I make room for gratitude for the moment…and the joy goes on and on.

574) First ‘ribbit’ of the season

575) Kites flying

576) Throwing rocks in a creek

577) Bikes. I prefer the types without motors but how can I resist how excited he is? He has his learners liscence…any spare prayers you got kicking around are appreciated.

578) Evening visitors

579) Spring flowers on my window ledge

580) Sunshine

581) Sunshine  in little curls

582) Ending the day with city lights…They’ve been hard to see this long, cloudy winter!

It was one of those nights. I hear little girl whimper from the basement “mommy, I wanna snuggle you!” and how can I resist? And so we sit and we sing and she pulls  up her sleeve and says “here you go mommy” as if presenting forearm for skin tickles is a gift to me. It can be you know. Though my head is heavy with 2 am weariness, though I am frustrated with tough child rearing phase. When I could really use a solid eight to recover from a day of pushing and shoving. We are three songs deep when little boy hears lullabies as invitation and stumbles into bed with us. The three of us, curled in bed soft skin all tangled up with mine and I sense this as gift. Two hours later, boy still getting up, back to school nerves all over his thoughts I am sure, it is a little harder to see…

Even harder when we finally get everyone settled down to sleep and neglect to wake in time for first day back to school. Harder still when little girl wakes with angry and heart full of intense.

I want to tuck myself away and hide for a few minutes. Just until coffee starts taking effect. Just until little people get their blood sugar levels up to normal. Just until…

Only when our eyes are wide to blessings do we see them. Only when we fully engage in the moment. Only when we open our hands to grasp it all as gifts and love letters can we truly unwrap it. This is the real ‘until’ we are looking for.

So we sit on the floor. I become teacher and we try to make up for preschool lost with finger plays and show and tell. We engage fully in each other and even potato scrubbing while little voices drift to me from the other room is a gift. Gift. Everywhere. Gift.

556) Clean sheets

557) Nights out with friends

558) A week off with husband

559) baby soft skin

560) Forearms to tickle

561) Little boys to hold in darkest night

562) A bed big enough to hold us all

563) That moment just before I fell asleep when I realized they both were finally settled

564) Coffee…cup after cup

565) Walks with family

566) Watching E eat a huge ice cream cone (and making a serious dent)

567) Red Winged Blackbirds and bays full of ducks

568) New little friends to ride bikes with

569) Herbs De Provence in crock pot stew…smells good already

570) Play dough

571) Super Hero Play

572) Quiet play…

573) A few moments to read…moments VERY well spent.

Back to the trenches friends! Hope your hands are open to gifts today…so much better than clenching in fear or anger!

There is nothing quite like tucking your baby into your old room and cuddling in bed with little boy. Nothing quite like waking up to the smell of coffee brewing and finding little girl tucked into grandpa’s arms for a morning cuddle (while I slumber). While everything changes, some things don’t. Our Almond Gardens Road is still the best place to learn to ride a bike. These three acres are the best to be a kid (or a grown up).

541) SO glad to be here while husband is off adventuring in Los Angeles with our youth group.

542) Beautiful things

543) Face of pride of little boy riding bike

544) Moon gazing with niece

545) Flipping channels with same niece and finding Les Miserables with Nick Jonas…both of us are thrilled.

546) Husband finally arriving in LA

547) The sweet bits of two-year olds (when the sour parts seem a bit overwhelming)

548) New baby cuddles

549) Impromptu park visits with friends. Plasma cars rule.

550) Littles behaving on solo road trip

551) Herb garden

552) Stealing photos off daddys computer.

553) Melting snow man cookies (mine didn’t turn out picture worthy)

554) A quick work trip to Vancouver and seeing niece I don’t see enough and dear old friend. Hotel room by myself and sleeping all night didn’t hurt much either.

555) Phone calls…I miss you!

The sky pierced blue today and with a ten degree temperature shift the windows rolled down and we  pretended it was summer (though it was still just 5 degrees celsius). The trees seemed to be shaking themselves clean of their winter coats; they as tired as me of this relentless winter. Snow just keeps coming though and its time to start seeing the blessing in it all. Time to re-embrace snowy hills, muddy drives and cool weather.

Life is the same. We want to escape sometimes don’t we? Sometimes life feels hard and people we love get sick and young people pass away and it all seems too much and we get heaven hungry. Counting blessings is the way we see our way back to faith. Seeing where He has carried us makes us sure He will carry us on our next steps. Even if it is dark…this flash light points back to the one who weaves it all together to make ‘someday sense’. Sense that we will never see this side of heaven.

527) 7 courses (youth auction item)…

528) For 6 excellent people

529) Impromptu winter party with some of the dearest

530) Gifts from the boys in the basement because they knew I was having a hard day

531) Sunlight in curls

532) A beautiful new mattress

533) This view…I’m not sure how many times I’ve posted this already…but I’m not sure I will ever tire of it. It is different every day.

533) A baby on her way

534) Laundry to wash

535) Kitchen to clean

536) A quiet morning with my girl.

537) Toys to tidy

538) Forts and doll houses

539) Little boy prayers whispered into mattress “Thank you that I am brave and strong and please help me learn to share and to be less grumpy”. Oh be still my heart.

These February days are stretching long. Today was declared the last day of winter at our house. That meant we could indulge one more time in the things that have defined the winter of 2011…too much tv (as we’ve been so ill), afternoon naps (for all but me, who is sitting here at the computer),  pancakes and more bickering than should be allowed. Tomorrow we start fresh and though this lion is prowling and growling we trust that March’s lamb will come sooner than later and we will again spend dawn to dusk exploring.

512) All three of my beloveds tucked in and napping….and not crying or pushing or fighting (Joel wasn’t involved)

513) Tea with the prayer shield ladies and being SO inspired…what a blessing and honour these women are.

514) Reminded I am “Chosen’.

515) Purple shag area rug. Yup you heard me. Cabin fever you say? Maybe.

516) Date night with my boy to sweet nephews birthday party and a going away party for one of colleagues.

517) Amazing uncles for my kids. Little E might have these men wrapped around her finger too. One bought her a doll because “he couldn’t believe how it looked like here” and another went to the mall two days in a row to buy her fashionable boots!

518) Pappas who fix beloved ‘action figure’ (aka Jesse Doll) heads.

519) Little boys who startle me with gigantic kisses when I am reading and when thanked wave their hand and say “any time”.

520) Getting asked on a date by my sweet niece

521) Fearless little girl

(yes she is petting a Caimen…and yes she budged in front of all the other kids but I was still proud of her!)

522) Big brother, holding little sister back

523) An amazing pre school teacher that challenges my boy in all the right ways! He really didn’t want to feed this tortoise…

But he did it!!!

523) Serious highlight of the Grammy awards (which I didn’t watch, but youtubed a bunch the other day!). Two of my current favorites with Bob Dylan. I love watching dreams come true and I imagine the Grammy stage with Bob would be IT for these dudes.

524) Skype date with our dear missionary friends, who by the way, are in need of more monthly support. Might you consider helping them out? They are doing really cool stuff! Check out Ministry of the Aylard\’s.

525) Play Dough menagerie…

526) Feeling ready to take on the rest of today. Thanks for napping everyone…and thanks for inspiration to count blessings even on tiring days dear Ann.