Author Archives: melissafed

Time for Everything & a Giveaway!

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Didn’t I just give birth to that giant baby who took days to come into the world? How is it that in just one month he will be five and that he has begun his school life?

It is the intensity of transition that makes mamma hearts ache.

That first one? That one during labour? That one is only the beginning. The rest sting just as mightily. Last weekend I did a workshop for parents sending their kids to university. We were feeling the same, them and I.

Scared. Proud. Sad. Excited. Conflicted.

But still we know. There is a time for everything.

A time to let go.

A time to bare down and fight.

And so we release them over and over again.

We find new stages.

In some ways sweeter.

In some ways harder.

In all the ways…once the transition pains ease, release soon comes.

E and I are making our way into this new stage too. More girl time for us. She is finding her way to new toys and settling in with a good book beside me.

It’s a slow day. Partly because O is not here. Partly because…well a rather large Amazon parcel arrived.

And guess what? I accidentally ordered two copies of “The Rhythm of Family”. So my very first bloggy giveaway! If you would like a copy of this awesome book from Soule Mamma leave a comment and I will get it to you!!!

UPDATE! The winner of the book is commenter number two~ Congratulations Kristie!

 

 

First Days

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An interview with Owen on the first day of school:

My favorite food is: Ham

My favorite colour: Blue

My favorite toy: Jesse, Robot and Tokyo Lightning McQueen

My favorite TV Show: Backyardigans

My favorite movie: Cars 2 and Rio

My favorite thing to do outside: Waterslide

My best friend: Lane

The coolest person in the world is: Aidan Feddersen

My favorite sport is: Soccer

My favorite animal: Elephant

My favorite thing to do with daddy: Play cars

My favorite thing to do with mommy: Play cars

Favorite place to go: To the ‘wee’ and Lanes house

When I grow up I want to be: Police

My favorite snack is: That Mater sandwich that I just had at school

The best thing about school today was: EVERYTHING…and playing with the fire truck

“You asked me all these questions two times already”



My favorite things…

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You know those things that I complain about? Those things that make you dreadfully hard to parent? Those are also my favorite things about you. I loved the way you jumped headlong into that creek this afternoon, shouting ‘cannon ball’. I love the fact that your dress was drenched, your feet mud caked, your face streaked with dust because God forbid you let that brother of yours get even one step ahead of you. I love the fact that you vacillate between trying to save that caterpillar and trying to see what will happen if you squish it flat. Love that you chased your brother through that culvert tunnel to find daddy at the other side. And…I actually love that you test me at every turn. Love that I can’t help but smile when you wield independence like a big heavy sword, trying to figure out which way to cut. You my dear will not be a door mat. You will be strong and, if my hearts greatest wish is granted,  FEARLESS. And I will be envious…

665) Fearless

666) Frogs in hand, creek beds to explore

667) Golf cart safaris. We are becoming legends in the golf cart…the four of us cuddled in the front seat.

668) That owl call. You should have heard them after they spotted a pair of Great Gray Owls on the wire. These kids of mine perfecting their call in conversation as those gorgeous beasts bob and nod and screech. AWESOME.

669) Cousins…Good golly what lovin’

670) My work…and that even though September will be (and always has been..) too much…it will be ok. Great even…In October.

671) Those soft curls.

672) Gentle…and STRONG.

673) Brave and timid.

Loving these days full of contrast Emily…You are FUN.

 

 

When Change Blows In…

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Owen Pre-School Grad...in June

Owen Pre-School Grad...in June

I woke early and I sat out on the deck with my coffee in hand. Suddenly it was too cold to sit outside, winds were blowing and she blew cold and I could smell change on her breath.

Soon boy child wakes and I hear his voice and I pull sliding door and he says “Snuggle me?” and I say “YES” and we bring blankets to the garden swing and we rock as that change wind breathes down our necks. We rock as we both sense fall schedules riding on the coat tails of that cold wind. We sense the end of our slow mornings, our messy crafts, our days of whatever we choose. I sense calendar filling up and I see the contract I just signed sitting on our horizons. We are in the “just before” days and change is coming sure and swift.

We rock long. Too long. We are late for back to school hair cuts. We don’t get our errands done. We don’t care…

These moments? Too precious to rush.

Enjoy your last days of vacation friends…changes are coming faster than you think!

Back to school link ideas:

Linking with friends I have missed:

 

On Green Grass

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“Everyone is getting married or having babies”.

Yes sometimes it feels like that.

At other points in your life it feels like everyone is getting divorced.

Sometimes you wish you could work more or less,

You wish your kids were older so that you could do more with them or wish they were younger so they were still under your roof.

You wish your home was bigger or smaller.

You wish…and wishing strips today bare.

No season of life is all butterflies and valentines, but each carries within it the opportunity for beauty if only we don’t wish it away.If you squint your eyes, even when you are at your most restless and discontent, you might notice extraordinary graces in the HERE. NOW. Adventures you can experience now that you wouldn’t at any other point in your life. I know sometimes the next thing seems like the best thing. It isn’t. Today is.

Thankful for TODAY:

653) patio dinner with friends

654) a family weekend barely leaving the house

655) a much anticipated project completed

656) Great summer reading this year. One winner after the next.

657) How soft her skin is, how sweet her voice…when she keeps me up all night long.

658) The way the boy put his hand on the middle of the girls back and walked her to me.

659) Little statements that seem far beyond little brains

660) Decisions…important ones.

661) Ukulele songs…only Eddie could make a ukulele sound so good.

662) A great summer at camp (and here too!)

663) He. Is. Home!

664) How I can’t help but praise…most days. 

 

What are you thankful today…in the HERE, NOW?

 

Linking today with Ann and other blessing counters. 

Foodie Friday (on Saturday): Borsht

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In my kitchen this week:

When you come from the land of ‘sunshine and borscht’ (like actually it is on the town marquee),

and you see dill, cabbage, tomatoes and beets at the farmers market, there is only one thing you can do. Its Doukhobor Borscht time. I’m not of Russian descent but as a girl my family would often joke that we should change our name to ‘Toddoff’. The number of people in my graduating class whose sir name ended with ‘off’ was astounding and that isn’t the end of the folks descended from this ethnic group. I can tell you one thing…these people know how to make yummy soup (and also how to consume butter). I cut at least half the butter out and it was still ok.

Printable recipe here

This week (for about the twentieth week in a row) I’ve found new things to do with Greek Yogurt. So good all alone (fat-free, high in protein) or used to replace mayo in most recipes (salad dressings etc). This week I made this dill sauce for salmon (yum) and also mixed it with a bit of cinnamon and drizzled some caramel sauce on top for a dip for apples.

Also in my kitchen this week? I’m a little obsessed with the Moosewood Cookbook I took from Leanne when she moved. But I gotta tell you DON’T TRY the “Pasta with Creamy Spinach Walnut Sauce“. I had high hopes but it was kind of gross. I did replace the spinach with beet tops so maybe they just didn’t have a strong enough flavour or something? I don’t know. In any event it was gross.

Happy cooking friends!!!

August Blessings

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This is the way it has been every summer for twelve years. Every year we get manna-just-enough. I remember those first summers, how us two full-time students somehow, almost magically, had money enough in our bank account to buy the groceries for camp. How the boat didn’t sink despite our newness with it all. How we were protected so intensely and supernaturally that people who didn’t believe in such things wondered about it. How we somehow survived those first few summers…me throwing myself between boats and rumbling waves, he cutting himself wide open on various motors. Somehow though…we have always had just enough. The economy of God is something not everyone experiences. How time expands when you give it to Him completely. How money covers expenses when you spend it only for Him. How love and grace surrounds and abounds in each other when you are chasing the same vision even if you aren’t always chasing each other.

We’ve founds these things to be true. Over and over. But we have never learned it in excess.

It has always been…JUST. ENOUGH.

Just enough energy.

Just enough grace.

Just enough mental fortitude.

This August is again proving these things true. We are in the season of JUST ENOUGH.

I can’t thank Him enough for that…

636) People loving my kids, helping me out!

637) Bubbling pots

638) Surprise harvests

639) Smooth bedtime

640) Two great dates with the man

641) Just 3 more nights.

642) Vacations past…vacations planned

643) That sunset. Oy vei.

644) Picnics.

645) A fun project…wherever it goes.

646) Fun parties…even though we said goodbye.

647) Friends who are in a place that they can do some REAL GOOD for the famine…for the drought. Think about sponsoring them this next year? Help them create sustainable change!

648) River floats

649) Family time…even if it was for sad reasons…was it ever great to see so much of our families these past few weeks.

650) Beautiful summer days

651) Cool summer nights

652) Did I mention he is almost home? I can’t wait.

Foodie Friday: Summer Lovin’

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Welcome to a new feature on ‘one thing blog’. I’m calling it “Foodie Fridays”…a little update on what is happening in my kitchen in the previous week. It will be boring most of the time and honestly I am just trying to figure out this kitchen business. Join me as I learn if you like!

Currently…I am oven-less. It is ok. Most of the time I just bbq (or occasionally steal from the boys downstairs…THANKS GUYS!). So most of this week was stove top.

Loving this week~

~ Oh Ina…These coconut cupcakes might be the death of me. I topped mine with cream cheese icing, toasted coconut, and marshmallows covered in toasted coconut. Have mercy.

~ Really, my time in the kitchen is just about finding ways to eat garlic butter. This might be the best way yet! Parboil any veg you want (tonight I did farmers market zucchini and green beans) then fry them for five minutes with garlic butter and fresh parmesan. It is all you will want for dinner.

~ Melissas version of “Santa Fe Chicken Salad”. Each June I bbq a whole box of chicken breast so that I can make salads for dinner all summer. My best one so far was:

Mix 1/4 cup Ranch Dressing

1 TBSP Chilli powder

1 tsp cumin

1 TBSP your choice of bbq sauce

(this makes enough dressing for large-sized salad that feeds several)

Mix together and put on salad of your choice (I do lettuce, black beans, corn, tomatoes, peppers and a bit of cheese). YUM (I know if you are going to have a salad for dinner it really should be healthy…I don’t know what to tell you except…YUM).

~ Starting to prepare for the preserving season! Here are some super cute labels free from Better Homes and Garden.

~ If you do a road trip you should eat at Wildfire Grill in Osoyoos. It kind of looks mediocre from the outside but everything we had was really yummy. Then hit Osoyoos Gelato, because it is hard to be in Osoyoos and not get ice cream, this is the best we had this summer.

What are you doing with the beautiful produce this week?

What is your favorite Okanagan fruit stand?

What is your ‘go to’ summer salad recipe? I would LOVE to hear!

Forgiving

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OH NO! Random flower shot! BRACE YOURSELF!

A business man broke down and cried in my husbands arms last summer, in an amusement park. His son just dead.

A woman showed up in our drive way one night because her mother had just suicided.

We had a service man confess abuse.

If I can make you no other guarantee on this earth I can make you this: Someone will hurt you. Cut you deep and make you want to hate them. You will want to write them off, abandon and wave the wand of forgive, think the job is done.

It isn’t.

The moment you think of them with dread, intimidation, anger. The moment you wish them unwell in the future. The moment you imagine something dreadful…guess what? The wand failed, and you my friend have some hard work to do…again.

Your job my friend, to love them as we love ourselves, is the most important one. And me? Thinking those thoughts, those feelings, well I’m afraid…I can’t yet call myself a ‘forgiver’. I got work to do.

But really what does that mean? I thought I knew. Be nice. Be sweet. Don’t make waves.

It isn’t that.

It’s so much harder than that.

Its ‘I hope you feel better after this confrontation, its I hope you leave this feeling more loved no matter what it costs me. Its I won’t defend my rights, I’ll become an advocate for yours. Its I will fight for you as much as I fight for myself. Its introspection and seeing yourself for who you really are, your scarred and clumsy self. Its admitting your fault and asking forgiveness and starting fresh.

Its I’ll LOVE YOU AS MYSELF. Its I’LL FORGIVE AS I’VE BEEN FORGIVEN.

Sometimes loving someone as yourself says:

Where is this coming from? How have I hurt you? What has our life together meant to you? How have I fallen short? How could I have loved you better? Heard your words? Felt your motives? Defended you? Fought for you?

How can I now LOVE YOU AS I LOVE MYSELF?

Its hard. Most days I fail.

Sometimes you just want to defend yourself and say ‘that isn’t what I said, or meant, or acted’. Sometimes you want to win.

Sometimes its hard to turn the cheek.

Sometimes its easier to be snide, hurtful, superior.

Sometimes its easier to ignore issues, hide behind pretense, wait for the storm to pass.

 Loving each other in truth is hard. It’s the very hardest thing. It wraps up all the other living for God traits into one neat package. You must be brave and humble. Strong and compassionate. Loving as yourself means that I’m not trying to win. It means the ideal end result is a tie…a photo finish.

(an edited post from the archives because sometimes you need  a reminder. You know?)

Linking with:

and:

Still…

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I still remember sitting in the middle of that shag green rug, my seven-year old legs feeling the tickle. I remember flipping through the pages of that tattered National Geographic magazine looking for pictures of fish for my collage when I came across somethings else. I remember bellies all bloated, eyes all wide, pleading with me. My heart shook, the earth quaked. Children were starving to death, the Ethiopia famine raging, the world just shifting their blind eyes toward it. Later, in nursing school, I would learn all about Eritrea and politics and all about mans inhumanity. I couldn’t understand it then…still can’t.


And now again, STILL, children are dying. Still while my coffee budget is higher than the cost to sponsor a child. STILL while my gas to drive my children to lessons and to play at bright green parks greater than what it would cost to feed a child in the developing world. STILL while we buy ourselves clothes we don’t need and ANOTHER housewares item. STILL while people spend their money on outfits for their dogs for alcohol and for beauty treatments children are DYING.

Still as I flip channels quickly when the images assault all my senses…STILL it hardly seems real.

But it is…So real.

I want to do something about the drought in the Horn of Africa, the babies starving, now, today, in East Africa. Don’t you?

Our youth group currently sponsors a village with World Vision called Garba Tulla in Kenya…it is hard hit, right in the midst of the drought. This project is just starting and needs plenty of support. And our government is DOUBLING whatever you donate.

Or what about something proactive? What about buildings engineered to conserve water when it finally does fall? What about teaching young men about drought resistant farming? My friends are in the midst of this ministry doing AMAZING work. Won’t you think about sponsoring them for the next year? Help them design a future of hope so that our children aren’t using the world STILL a decade from now?

USE THIS if you ever have questions about a charity. It rates charities based on all sorts of factors including administration fees etc. For your information eMi score 5 stars out of 5 on this rating system. In the event you need anymore motivation? You can watch this…I can’t.

(Linking today with Gypsy Mamma and her five minute prompt “STILL”)