The Least I Can Do


I am certain,

Someday when I rock a chair with my weathered skin, my worn out body,

that I will rock to the rhythm of these days.

That old chair, will click with the memories of bare feet on these plank floors,

the steady and predicted tick of irrigation running,

the anticipated sun on their eyelids as it rises over us,

the ebb and flow of the waves on all the lakes we have sat beside this summer.

All these memories will rock me to sleep, help me keep the peace.

But there is something else in me too;

I am terrified of these luxurious days.

In a world where bombs fall on schools and hemorrhagic fevers rage;

Where planes just fall from the sky and vanish,

is it still okay to spend an entire afternoon searching for the perfect swimming hole?

Am I part robot, all callous, if I can’t read another article about Syria but instead

read a poem by Wendell Berry as the sun rises, Annie Dillard as the sun sets?

I don’t know.

I make an offering of the huckleberries we picked.

A ceremony of the found fruits I hold and wash.

I celebrate the things that seem whole in a world so dreadfully broken.

Each one is a prayer for my friends in the midst of the rage.

To begin, I make all the peace I can.


one thing tuesday (on wednesday): summer reading

Every summer I splurge. The best day of the year, might be, when the summer amazon parcel arrives. WAHOOOO. 

The fiction: Because summer TV is the worst…

The poetry: Because when the children are around and the husband is away is prime time for little bursts of beauty…

The dream chasing: Because it is time…

The Jesus chasing: Because it is all…

The family loving: Because I do…


Looking at this list I realize it might take me clear through to Christmas…oh well.

What are you reading this summer? Have you read anything on this list (should I remove any before I even start?!)

Country Chronicles: My thumb might not be green

Lots of news at the ranch these days. Want an update?

Sprummer 2012 isn’t all I cracked it up to be. It has rained like crazy, it has been so wet. Like sometimes I think we should start building a boat of some sort.  And then June 9? Four days after I planted out all my garden seedlings the kids and I had started, it snowed. A fair bit. I nearly cried.

Some things survived I think. Red cabbage is hardy. Peas just don’t quit. Onions popped. Strawberries might bring a crop of 5-10 (individual berries not kilos).

I don’t know if I can take all the blame for all of our gorgeous seedlings meeting a fatal end. Who can expect snow on June 9? Certainly not me. In any event there was also a happy discovery. A gorgeous, huge rhubarb patch up in the woods. Looks like someone else tried to garden sometime in history? Perhaps I will start a rhubarb farm. It might be the only thing hardy enough to live here. We’ve been loving strawberry rhubarb pies, compote and Darlas delish muffins.

Today I replanted most everything. tomatoes, carrots, squash, eggplant, beans, peppers, zucchini, basil, pumpkins, cucumbers, cilantro, sunflowers. Here is hoping it doesn’t all rot or get washed away in the torrential rain fall. In other garden news, using hay in your lasagna garden when you are in the midst of a very damp spring might not be the best choice. It sort of looks like I might have an alfalfa crop to end all others. Boo…

In other ranch news: Ferogie moved out and Jordan moved in. We miss Fergs, but not as much as we would have before we realized he doesn’t finish book trilogies he starts (PS I took them back if you are looking ;-). The kids are still naming Jordan. We look forward to E’s nickname for him…though I doubt it will be as catchy as the others as she named them when she was just two. Now that she is nearly four she doesn’t say nearly as many hilarious things.

Yesterday we took a lion and a princess to the car show downtown. It was awesome and I will cry the day they are too cool to do what they think is fun and rad.

Today we had a family chocolate fondue after school. I think the kids may have liked that.

There is still an adorable constable about this week. Sam makes a fine companion.

I have no idea where they learned this behaviour from…

My husband is really good at gift giving. I turned old this weekend and he bought me this awesome and perfect for w-ring addition to the deck (and yes we know we can’t leave it this close to the roof). I bought him underwear and tshirts (gift giving is not my forte…or love language).

I won a CD this week. Thinking about this song from it for many hurting friends of mine…

Tomorrow is ONE THING TUESDAY! Think about something that makes you feel ALIVE, BLESSED, JOY Filled? Come back and tell me?

one thing tuesday: shadowlands

When the world seems dark and heavy and you feel yourself start to bend under the weight of it, you must find your way out. You were never meant to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and the truth of it is that you will start to warp.

I am sad this week. And while I know that we are meant to mourn with the mourners, we also should not mourn as those without hope. And so how do we return our hearts to being those filled with hope?

By becoming light to this horrifically dark world. By looking for fingerprints of the gift giver. By growing in our faith to see that there can be FRUIT in EVERY season as we plant ourselves on HIM. That by Him alone are we able to grow in the dark that we learn new lessons in difficulty, in pain. We look for the blessings even in the burden. Trusting Him to work all things for the good.

Today I am looking for the light in the dark. Listening intently for birds singing. Watching for Glory in the mundane and everyday. My son too. He came running to me at bedtime tonight and said “Oh mommy we are so BLESSED” and I said “Yes honey, we are, tell me what made you say that right now?”. And he said “Oh mommy we get to live on Sun Valley Rd. and it is SO SUNNY today”. Yes baby it was.

How about you? As you set off into Tuesday, will you join us? Think about what you see today that makes you pause to observe the splendor. What, this day, lets you know that there is hope for the hopeless? Strength for the weak? Healing for the broken?
Come back. Tell me. I want to know.

one thing blog

one thing tuesday

If you know me at all, you know that I tend towards the sarcastic persuasion.
More often than not, I think drama is hilarious.
I can’t stand romantic comedy. Or romantic movies much at all for that matter.
Unless they involve a super hero.
Or at the very least, are spun into a fairy tale
I don’t trust people who smile too big (or too often).
I think most things are cheesy.
I have trouble with things like titles. Being a pastor’s wife for example. It makes me wear skulls and crossbones and want to swear (Sorry. I know. We’ve been expecting the pink slip for a long time now).
Anyways. All that to tell you I need to manage my thought life.
My kids? They always think things are marvelous. Today they went horse back riding for the very first time. Their little faces nearly glowed. O giggled the ENTIRE time. They felt the glory laden in each moment. They marveled at the experience. They hold the memories fast and dear. They tell everyone they see.
I want that again.
I want to dive into each day as  a beauty seeker, not a fault finder. I want to see the best in my brothers and sisters. I want to draw it from them. I want to be the type of person that inspires. Not the type who thwarts.
Being 30 something has been good for that. The way I care much less if you think I am cool or not. The way I readily admit the things I love now, the things I thought made me lame a few years ago. The way I feel secure in this skin. The way I KNOW that I am not all that I once thought I was…and that is GOOD.
Five years ago when I started blogging, I was in the early stages of this mom journey. My babes were young and I was home. A lot. Some days the walls closed in. Some days my world shrunk to the island of the one little person who was never sleeping and eating constantly. Most days it was wondrous. Some days in was wondrously difficult.
The concept of ‘one thing blog’ was born out of this feeling. How do I keep my mind fixed on the good, the wonderful, the beautiful? How do I fix my eyes on the eternal matters of this dreadfully “physical” stage of life? So I started to blog, ‘one thing’ each day that inspired me. As my world got bigger again, this blog grew as well but I miss the mental exercise of actively seeking the most beautiful gift or treasure in each day.
So sometimes, on Tuesdays I will be heading back to ‘my roots’. Join me? Open you eyes today and notice something that inspires, calms, breathes meaning into this day. Come back and share it in the comments won’t you?
OR if you blog…I got myself a button…you can grab it and join me? What was something that made you think thoughts greater than yourself? What made you stop for just a moment and think of the Gift Giver?
I would love to hear. Maybe…it will cause more of us to pause in wonder?
Eyes peeled for WONDER,