Preparations

Posted on December 22, 2011 by melissafed

“Thanks so much for breakfast mommy, that was so yummy”

I smirk, laugh a little. All I did today was throw some frozen blueberries in a bowl.

“Oh sorry. I don’t really know how to say that yet.”

He thinks I am laughing at him.

“Owen! No, I only laughed because it was so easy to make. That was the perfect thing to say. I’m sorry! Did I hurt your feelings?”

“No, its ok. I don’t mind if people laugh at me…”

And my heart breaks clean open in my chest.

It is just so easy to add to the broken parts of the world. To add onto heart aches.

This Christmas, we’ve been thinking a lot about how to build in this broken world. How to join in the great work of REDEEMING. Really believing that each and every moment is an opportunity to join in the act of building up, or to join in the activity of tearing down. A moment to heal or an opportunity to destroy. Jesus came to this place to restore…I want to join him in this…every opportunity I can. But no one knows better than I do that most moments I will not get it exactly right.

But that is ok.

We can only join in the work. We have never been called to do the whole of it.

It has been a strangle hold of meaning to prepare for our trip to Africa simultaneously as we prepare for Christmas and thinking about how to partner with the One who longs to use us for tiny acts of good. I have no illusions of grandeur when it comes to things like this. I can only, perhaps, find a friend far away who I can encourage in their work, find a way to help in tiny and small ways, to join in the bits of bringing redemption to the broken and the truth of it is that if I keep my heart right, I could do the very same thing here, in my own home.

But it is all messy this thing called life, the celebration of Christmas. It has never, ever been neat and tidy.

‘ – starting with Mary and Joseph. It doesn’t come with domestic tensions sorted, with worries filed neatly away, with sickness tamed, with grief healed, with pain relieved. But it does celebrate, not only a baby who came, but who grew to be the rescuer of humanity and the true model of what living looks like. He has come to our mess.

-Jeff Lucas (thanks Michelle!)

And how about you? Will you step into the mess this holiday too? Will you do everything you can to bring tiny bits of PEACE ON EARTH? In your home? Far away? Everywhere you can?

Our year is a little different and you can join us on our Kenyan adventure here:

Learn about the communities we are visiting here. We will visit Garba Tulla (a new project just a year into development) as well as Masharu (a village that is 12 years into its World Vision development cycle).

You can follow our Flickr photo stream here.

Or sponsor a child from Garba Tulla here!

We will do our best to update this blog frequently as well! See all World Vision related posts here.

Advent

Posted on December 8, 2011 by melissafed

It was the whole point wasn’t it?

His coming? To restore, redeem, mend all that is so very broken in us; in this old world.

Christmas, if we cut everything else away isn’t it only about REDEMPTION?

I am wondering, what does it mean to join in this work? How do we settle into the plan He has for this family, the good He intends for our lives to bring to the world?

Last week I looked at my calendar, then promptly went to the corner where I huddled in the fetal position and wept. Introverts like me get overwhelmed by the very thought of too many people, too many expectations. I will tell you in advance, I am not going to meet them for you. Then, as I cuddled and cried I remembered that this, this busy? This burden? This is the opposite of what HE has for me this season as I wait for him.

This month? Is only about redemption.

If it doesn’t mend or heal or join His great work, I am turning it down. If it is more about busy than being a blessing? I am walking away.

For me, this month will be about weak relationships pulled back together to strong.

It will be about a tired husband inspired to rest.

It will be about a little family in the woods that needs stronger bonds, slower days.

It will be about memories, but not pressure.

I will bake when my kids want to bake with me,

and when I don’t feel like cleaning the kitchen for the 20th time? I will buy things, instead of thinking I am letting someone down by not making it from scratch. My husband? Will cheer.

I am not going to plan our two weeks off as an opportunity to ‘catch up on things around here’. The only thing that needs to be ‘caught’ is life well spent.

I am not going to get stressed out when you come over. I am going to enjoy the gift of your company and look forward to contemplating what God has in store for us as he draws us together.

I will sit quiet and not rush into the next ‘big thing’. Even as I prepare for our trip to Kenya with World Vision I will spend more time contemplating how He can use us for redemptive purposes then making to do lists.

I will ask Him, where is your heart for these days? How can I join you in it?

I will rediscover Wonder, because that is how I want my children to remember mom at Christmas. Wonder-bound and doing everything I can to bring tiny bits of Peace on Earth. That tree that sits crooked (and huge) in my living room, with bottom heavy ornaments? I’m leaving it just as it is and each day when my boy runs in gasping, asking to add more? I will let him and we will lay down under it and look up and think about all the beauty we can find, even in the broken.

Country Chronicles: Oh…Hello Winter

Posted on November 25, 2011 by melissafed

Last weekend winter arrived with fists of fury.

Old Man Winter doesn’t seem to be messing around this year.

And around here? We’ve embraced it completely.

And really…one just cannot play in the snow and not have it followed by hot chocolate right? And its science I think, that when it is this ‘wintery’ I most certainly cannot be blamed for pulling out the Christmas mugs,

and maybe, all the decorations?

But really, my excuse is that we must start the season early because ours will end early. Yup its really happening. Joel and I have spent the week working on our documents for our Kenya trip with World Vision. December 28 baby…sneaking up fast. So yup…our arms are packed full of Hepatitis and Yellow Fever vaccines. Giddy up.

Oh and the boys finished their treehouse…take a gander at this beauty. We call her “Abins Cabin”

Or this? Joel turned an old shed into a wood fired sauna.

Its true. Your eyes are not deceiving you. Only my husband would install a sound system before he cleans up his tools. He is a visionary alright? Lay off. Plus look how strong he is:

Its been a year now since we took the leap to move out here and every day I am more thankful. We are having a blast. Nothing makes my heart more glad than a living room like this:

Advent begins this weekend too so then it will officially be ‘okay’ to start getting ready for this sweet season. Christmas 2011 is primed to be one of legends at our house. Excited to create traditions and memories for our kids this year!

How about you? Have you started getting ready yet? What are your ‘advent plans’?

When Skin Gets Thin

Posted on November 3, 2011 by melissafed

When the clock ticks and the IV beeps and the hip through the blanket feels like it is bare bone laying on the bed, its easy for mamma heart to flee to the scary place. The place where deepest fear resides. The one that reminds us how this skin is the only thing holding soul to terra firma. When you remember how thin that veneer, how poor a capture, how soul is always trying to fight its way free of it, to shake skin into dust, to fly off into space. When you remember how precious lives are; how short. You find yourself clinging to skin. I hugged people I don’t usually hug…my boss, my colleagues. Realizing flesh as slippery fish, I held on tight.

We all need to remember that somedays don’t we?

When you children make you want to climb walls?

When you friend steps heavy on your toes?

When your spouse forgets you for a moment?

When you are cut off in traffic? Pushed aside? Left behind?

Life in the flesh is tricky business, easy to misstep or take for granted. If we remember the shortness of the breath, how difficult the struggle; might it help us to keep the main things, the main things?

I will remember. You might need to remind me again next week.

And to all of you who have worried…our boy is finally, healing nicely. Thanks for your amazing support…you’ve made life in our flesh so much better!

Country Chronicles: Choosing Wonder and Seeing Beyond

Posted on October 22, 2011 by melissafed

Where I roam, people are very likely to find you ironic, lame, to mock. The worlds of university or adolescence? They are steeped deep in sarcasm. This is a language I am fluent in.

These wonder-bound kids I am raising? They are not. Their language is full of mystery, magic, wonder, awe…they teach me new things.

There has been a lot of exploring done by my family lately. We perched in the widows of hotel towers. We sat on the edge of ferries, and watched the world whizz by jeep widows. We threw rocks in the ocean and found sea glass and other treasures.

The kids have wandered through forests on what we like to call ‘going for an explore’. They ask me questions about leaves changing and fog rolling and how the rain clouds form. They stop every five steps to let sand drizzle through their fingers. I consider rushing them but then remember, this is the greatest gift being a mother has given me: A sense of wonder.

These kids have made everything new again. Every beauty spark, lights a fire in me as I fan it for them to see. I walk slow now, I notice the colours of things, I search for beauty to reveal, for splendor to explain, creation to receive. Today, again, I will just sit back and watch what lights their eyes, and I will slow to enjoy it with them.

Today, I will choose to consider the reckless extravagance of a peacock feather, the design of the hawk as he treads air, consider what helps that bird to fly trusting that knowledge will help me set these babes aloft, and perhaps in that I can also catch a lift. I will have no choice but to be thrown from the seat of mockers to get a glimpse of the great beyond.

How to Keep Going the Same Direction

Posted on October 10, 2011 by melissafed

I’ve been wondering: How do you ensure you keep going the same direction when you feel like two ships passing in the night?

I’m back at work a little and the man and I? Well, we are playing a bit of tag team. So when we brush lips at the door (resist the urge to high five, tag each other into the parenting ring), how do we ensure that our courses don’t drift us miles a part?

We’ve found we need to remind each other where we are headed. Even if our ships tend to sail out in different waters: my boat leaving harbour only for calm waters, his heading out for the craziest, waviest seas. Knowing now what we didn’t twelve years ago, that our family, our ministry, could not function any other way.

OUR family.

OUR ministry.

We are two parts of one whole. Sometimes opposites, needing different paces to thrive, but always, ALWAYS, ONE.

So we toss our selves into Living Water, knowing that the undercurrents and tides will keep us together even when we sail at different times. Making efforts even at the end of long days at sea to lift each other up, to be the quiet whisper of encouragement, trusting one another with a future full of uncertainty and risk. Even more we trust Light of only truest beacon, to keep the hull from rocky bluffs. We remember to choose gratitude for the life you are building together, for the extraordinary we see in each other. We remember things that drew one to the other, we make space for adventure together, for fun. We fumble over the mythology whispered in tired ears, of greener grass. We hold fast to Thankful, and we remind ourselves to trust that He that bound us into ONE has a plan.

634) Driving home, sky all purple, moon all full, road all drenched. Beauty.

635) Sharing it with the man, while the littles crack all kinds of hilarity in the back seat.

635) Fog. Lights. Beauty.

636) His love.

637) Relaxing with dear ones….so…so dear.

638) New music.

639) Ms. Hass

640) Vacation time. Reflecting on this thing we are building. This man. Most thankful for this Thanksgiving…

First Days

Posted on September 7, 2011 by melissafed

An interview with Owen on the first day of school:

My favorite food is: Ham

My favorite colour: Blue

My favorite toy: Jesse, Robot and Tokyo Lightning McQueen

My favorite TV Show: Backyardigans

My favorite movie: Cars 2 and Rio

My favorite thing to do outside: Waterslide

My best friend: Lane

The coolest person in the world is: Aidan Feddersen

My favorite sport is: Soccer

My favorite animal: Elephant

My favorite thing to do with daddy: Play cars

My favorite thing to do with mommy: Play cars

Favorite place to go: To the ‘wee’ and Lanes house

When I grow up I want to be: Police

My favorite snack is: That Mater sandwich that I just had at school

The best thing about school today was: EVERYTHING…and playing with the fire truck

“You asked me all these questions two times already”

When Change Blows In…

Posted on September 2, 2011 by melissafed

Owen Pre-School Grad...in June

I woke early and I sat out on the deck with my coffee in hand. Suddenly it was too cold to sit outside, winds were blowing and she blew cold and I could smell change on her breath.

Soon boy child wakes and I hear his voice and I pull sliding door and he says “Snuggle me?” and I say “YES” and we bring blankets to the garden swing and we rock as that change wind breathes down our necks. We rock as we both sense fall schedules riding on the coat tails of that cold wind. We sense the end of our slow mornings, our messy crafts, our days of whatever we choose. I sense calendar filling up and I see the contract I just signed sitting on our horizons. We are in the “just before” days and change is coming sure and swift.

We rock long. Too long. We are late for back to school hair cuts. We don’t get our errands done. We don’t care…

These moments? Too precious to rush.

Enjoy your last days of vacation friends…changes are coming faster than you think!

Back to school link ideas:

Great organization for school keepsakes. I just printed these.
LOVE this idea for a starting school blog post.
Feeling like me? Like you should have spent more time on letters this summer? Think on this!
FUN lunch ideas

Linking with friends I have missed:

Happy Weekend

Posted on July 30, 2011 by melissafed

This weekend…

May you feel some trepidation…

As you embark on new adventure,

May you experience joy as you try new things,

May you feel free as you create,

Or at the very least, may those things keep your children busy enough that you can spend a few moments on something that makes you feel happy!

Happy weekend friends!

Country Chronicles: Where I’ve Been

Posted on July 22, 2011 by melissafed

How is it that I’ve only written two blog posts in three weeks?

This picture sums up the only defense I have. Do you see that glint in her eye? That mischief brewing just under the surface? That firecracker just about to ignite?

Yup. That must be it. This girl is just so very two right now and it would appear, one only has so many words to spend each day and mine are all spent by the time she goes to bed.

“Get off of there please”

“Oh Emily. PLEASE GO TO SLEEP”

“Don’t bite your brother”

Ya da, ya da, yada….

The anthem of every mother everywhere. By the time they are asleep I have energy only to crawl to the couch and enjoy someone elses words.

These rainy summer days have been full though. Very, very full. Filled with cardboard cities for trains…

Storm watches.

Reunions with the dearest of friends.

Filled with camping trips and quick visits to daddy at camp.Weddings and showers. A slightly bigger work contract (yahoo and YIKES). Visits with friends. Playing outside. Picking wildflowers. Hikes with cousins. picnics. Road-trips. Play dough. Trampolines. Bikes. Dirt. Finn McMissle. Swimming when the sun shines.