When we are weak then He is strong. And when a stalk of wheat falls down something is born out of it. And last month when I left that place and felt defeated and deflated and thought
“That is it; I gave it a whirl and this speaking gig is just not for me”.
I said it out loud to several. “Its just not for me, I’ve got too much to say and when I say it out loud the words rush and trip over each other and I lose myself and I don’t say anything at all”.
One week ago I received an email and she talked about unlove and defeat and small blades to teenage forearms. She talked about the shame and things stolen . She was planning to quit something she loved because of the shame of having to expose old wounds and after I spoke she tattooed over them instead. She grew a tree from her suffering and she let God draw new life from old death. She spoke about finding life abundant and learning to ‘forgo the shame for one more minute and not let Satan take that joy from (her) any longer’. She talked of beauty and worth. I breathed in grace because isn’t that just the way he works? Use the nutrients of my own death to grow something that looks like fruits of His Spirit…
Our scars peek out sometimes.
Even when He heals and we grow up and out. Even when our branches near reach the sky our broken parts are never wasted. He uses them to bring glory to himself about how he finds beauty in the broken and creates all kinds of good gifts. None of it is wasted. Even when our words fall flat, even when we hurt ourselves, even when we quit…only a God like ours could grow something beautiful from it.
and they are talking about forgiveness over here…isn’t the hardest person to extend grace to ourselves???