The snow fell yesterday. You can drive 8 minutes down the road and the white hills turn to green. But here the wind is blowing and the ice is staying. Winter has come. I know my place. My place is here on this hill, with the children who are so full up with life it leaks from their mouths in exuberant bursts. There is no stopping it. They are carbonated like their daddy. Bursting. The snow means they go back outside. The pop of energy echoes in the snow of Sun Valley.
Last weekend I preached a woman’s retreat like a bonefide lady. Like a maybe, someday, almost, preacher. I felt the ragged edges but I felt alive in the tightly woven midpoints. I want to stay there. God keep me from my own periphery. You know I am at risk to disintegrate when I live in the pulled threads. The “more” than I am called to.
I have more than a couple of opportunities these days. There are a number of things I could do and one could say I am spread more than a little bit thin. It is currently more difficult then ever for me to say yes to the things that matter most.
But yes I must. And no…well it is time to learn. Here is what I know today:
- I am called to free Joel to do whatever ministry he is called to. Free him. Did you hear that? He is released by me, for his very best of work. I will stand beside him in that call. Make him more free, stronger, by any stretch or means I can.
- I am to know Jesus. Deep and true. And not to waiver on my task.
- My work is about advocating for healthy and whole communities…to work for the safety and wholeness of young people.
- My work is to mother from my deepest healing…never, ever from my weeping wounds…never my greatest fears.
- My job is to write it all down…
We were warned…weren’t we? Our purpose might be pushed from central just a little when we are family zoned. Please do not let it get out to the thread bare edges. The life’s work may be pushed a little, but we can find our way to the margins, the dawn breaking, the night shadow. Don’t forget to draw firm lines…oh please don’t forget. We need to see your masterpiece. Say no to the other things, the things that you are not made for, the things that drain you, the things that anybody else can do.
Please say yes to the 18 inches around you. Take the step that you need to to claim the space of your sacred yes. And don’t be afraid to say your no.