I jumped through a rabbit hole on the internet. I followed it down an ugly space to where horrific murders and drugs lived. I had to shut my computer and step away. I had hoped shutting it off would keep me protected. Set apart. And then…I found myself I sitting on the floor, bare legs stretched out across dirty church carpet. But, sometimes you just need to take your shoes off on holy ground. Sometimes the holiest ground exists in the ugliest places.It wasn’t the message or the worship.
It was joining with the pray-ers this morning, asking how do we step into the brokenness?
It was sitting with a sister who isn’t feeling like herself and so we spent time thinking…praying… into what ‘self’ means. It was watching my husband talk to a young man about what grief means. Giving it room to breathe.
I don’t know what you expect from church, but as I get older, as I watch life a little longer, my expectations have changed drastically. I don’t want you to tell me how to be fulfilled. I don’t want you to glitter and sparkle and tell me how happy you are, how perfect your life.
I want to hear you say…I am broken…Jesus makes me feel like I might stay all together in one piece.
I want to hear you say…I am joining in the work of HIS redemption. How can I stand beside you and make you feel more whole?
I want to hear you say…Life isn’t what I thought it would be…and STILL…I am finding HIS JOY in it.
I want you to say…Church isn’t about what I can get. It is about what HE gave and about how I can also learn to be a giver.
Church…in the midst of this very broken world…a wounded bunch…open to more wounded souls…walking each other home.