“I got a new girlfriend mommy” and I give you a high-five, because that is what one does in the face of jubilation. And also? I know you have no idea what that means, but I ask anyways.
You respond simply “A new friend. That is also a girl”. Well alright then.
Your sister yelled from her bed at you tonight “I LOVE YOU O, SEE YOU IN THE MORNING” and you responded “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE MOON”. And I lay back and I rested in the quiet moment of bliss. The way you used words today like lovely, delightful, divine (to describe cottage cheese no less). Something about these slower days makes my heart beat faster. It is the two of you I’m sure.
And there is E. The way she asks for the whole of me. Sometimes she just grabs my face and demands the entirety of my gaze, locks me there with hazel super powers. She needs different things than you, so sometimes with your independent ways, hold up in your room, with five cars and a police badge, I forget you for a moment. E will not be forgotten, she sparks to light us up, stokes us to keep us brightly blazing. Anything to make us laugh, make us hold her. You brighten up too. I see you, how you smile when she jokes, when she dances. You told her she was the best girl in the whole earth this week. I think you are right you know. I hope you never forget.
I’ve been spinning like a top even though the whirl has stopped, and it makes me realize that something is not quite right with the axis on which my whole world has been tilting. I am a week into the quiet which is summer for me at the ranch and I am still finding a way to whirlwind past most everything and get nothing done. This is the summer I am to write my first novel. To organize my life. To finally clean my windows (and…well…everything else).
But I gotta tell you. Today I think I realized I just really want to bounce with you on the trampoline. To take the dog for a hike. To read books with the two of you on the deck. To build a dam in a creek. Pick saskatoon and huckleberries. Stare at you…try and magically keep you five and three for the rest of my days.
Yes. That sounds like more than enough.