In the morning now, when the house is quiet, and the lists are made I feel like I could do it…all of it.
By three pm today I will know that I cannot and I will sit exhausted and think about all the things I missed, forgot, could have done better. THESE DAYS ARE THE LONG ONES. The ones we are sure that God mixed up our life with someone else. That this hand that we’ve been dealt would be better played by another. I am weak today and broken and greater purposes (like motherhood) cannot possibly include me.
But. Jesus your strength is made perfect in my weakness and so I take it. Today? I take the children with tempers that flare, the events I don’t plan in time, the meetings I forget, the bills left unpaid, the uncertainties and the way I can’t keep it together.
I take the sudden stops, false starts, wasted passion. I admit that domesticity is a full-time job, and I cannot keep up with the Jones if I am going to work too. I cannot be the fun socialite, the team leader, the ministry guru, the mother I want to be…not all at once.
This Passion week…YOU are reminding…again…for the 1000 time. I want the whole of YOU and so much less of me. I breathe deep of that truth today and extend compassion over the expectations I have of myself.
How you doing this week mamma? Be gentle with yourself will you?
Need some encouragement?
Amber on Shame and Motherhood…If I could write exactly what I am feeling today? This is what I would write. The woman is seriously gifted.
Emily on Dwelling in each moment Oh yes…Reminder about the priorities I really want to set