Face is crusted with mucus, red skin forming beneath. We’ve not slept in days and yet I insist on a Christmas craft. We are still attending festivities (even while battling illness) and I’m desperate for them not to think it is about GETTING alone. Em is dressed partially for the party, tights and undershirt are on. I’ve broken up a few fights already, pulling each others crafts away. Little boy won’t quit his newly learned ‘cutting skill’ long enough to finish his little masterpiece. I turn to finish cleaning up the kitchen and return to find little girl colouring herself with markers. Her tights deep blue, her hands all purple, and I snap at her.
“Emily..WHAT ARE YOU DOING? We are leaving in 15 minute!”
Little face turns to lap, eyes fill with giant tears, sobs begin. It is nap time at my house and no time for crafts or frustrated mommys.
Little boy looks up at me and with his justice instinct strong, and his heart soft says,
“Mommy…you broke her feelings”.
I stop short my blustering. I’ve been flitting around the house like a wind storm, stirring up trouble with my own impatience. Driving everyone wild with my heart full of ‘rush’. Bossing husband, hustling children, as if there was a jet plane to heaven we are about to miss. As if we are desperate to pick up our food rations. There is no true rush besides the one that lives in my heart and that one wields its head too often and turns mamma heart cold.
I’ve thought long and hard what this year would be about and the moment that little boy called me out, the moment where impatience caused anger flare up and little girl tears, the choice became clear. This year will be about walking slowly, so that little feet can easily keep up. This year will be about being quick to listen and slow to speak. This year will be about being two minutes late rather than yelling ‘hurry up’. This will be the year that allows little hands to fully explore before I push them along. It will be about not letting words run off ahead of me and running into each other or running over the ones I love. This year will be one where PATIENCE is learned and refined. It is time for me to grab hold of my impatient tongue that lashes instead of builds, and it is time to learn how to walk slowly beside and to match my pace to little feet. I’m so thankful to day for the ONE who is patient with me, the one who will lead this heart into step with His.
Oh, bless you, for choosing patience as your theme. What mother doesn’t wish she had had more patience with her children? I regret the impatient moments I had with my children (and still have). But the Lord does work with us, and I thank him that he has done a work in me. I do still get impatient, but not as easily. May he give you great success to be less hurried this year.
I want to let you know first, that I found you from Ann’s.
“you broke her feelings” – wow, that moment, you make it real.
And your word “patience” – something every single one of us desperately needs. I heart this name for this year.
I have prayed for your year of “patience” for Our Lord to help you grab hold of your words, help you to build with them, to walk slowly beside, match pace to little feet.
I am led to say this too – it’s something he told me once, “be as patient with yourself as I am with you.”
My word is “connection” – your words connected with me, and I’m grateful for that.
God Bless and Keep you and yours.
Wow Melissa… you have a way with words. This one really struck me, as too often I’m doing that same thing – trying to rush everyone out the door because we are LATE AGAIN! Thank you for the challenge to walk in pace with the little feet.
“You broke her feelings.” Oh, such big wisdom from a little one. How quickly we forget. Patience. Yes, a good word for the year. Slowing down, rest, taking more time for love…I need that too.
Oh, this same senario could have happened in my own kitchen. Patience. Mmmm. A word I pray will mark my life. Thank you for sharing.
I want to say I’ve “been there, done that” and need all the same goals, but my “little ones” are now grown, and sometimes, yes, even now, I hear a voice saying, “you broke her feelings.” This was to the heart. We are all beside you, praying for the same, and hearing from Him, “Take my hand, I’ll walk with you.”
Thanks for sharing,
Certainly resonates with me. Patience~a beautiful word for the year. I remember walking my eldest daughter to the park when she was little, hurrying her along. Why? We had no plans afterward. A beautiful reminder here, thanks.